Andrea and Simon's story

After realising they were ready to grow their family, Andrea (42) and Simon (57) turned to adoption—beginning a journey that brought them their son Ethan (6) and changed their lives forever.

Simon and I had been together 10 years, the whole time knowing that we were unable to have children biologically. And in those 10 years, I honestly didn't feel ready anyway - we had renovated our house, I was working my way up the career ladder, enjoying lots of sporting activities and travel. As I reached my late 30s, we began to feel we had a lot of love to give, it would be a shame not to share it, and would love to grow our family. 

Adoption was the first avenue we looked into; knowing there were children already out there who needed stable, loving homes like the one we felt we could offer. I had known a few adoptive families growing up, and the thought had always been at the back of my mind, that I'd like to adopt one day. 

I can still remember making the call to Adoption Cumbria from an office at work expressing our interest; they sent someone out to have a chat with us in more detail, and the rollercoaster never stopped from there!

The real insight and understanding of what it means to adopt hit us hard and fast from the first of the courses we attended. An external view of adoption is very limited (and sometimes even glamourised), once we had a much better understanding of the many complex layers of emotional, physical, developmental, and psychological issues at play - we felt extremely well equipped to make a decision on whether to proceed.

We did proceed (of course!) and had a fairly drawn-out assessment and matching process, as a result of Covid. Throughout, our social worker was fantastic! I think she ended up knowing us better than we knew ourselves. She was supportive, she challenged us and tested our resolve, she taught us, she nurtured us - despite being long, it arguably gave us even more time to ensure we were prepared and clear on what needs we could meet ahead of the matching process.

The panel event was really the culmination of a lot of hard work and preparation; nothing to be afraid of - the panel wants to approve people they think are suitable, and you wouldn't be there if that was in question. Every aspect of your life will feel like it's been put under the microscope throughout assessment, but rightly so; the decision on your suitability is critical, and actually this kind of scrutiny prepares you immensely well. You come to understand its importance even more once you are parents I think. 

Our family were incredibly supportive. Many of the family meetings and much of the training was online; and no one missed a single session. The preparation they received was also invaluable, to this day, in understanding adoptive children and their needs. 

We were finally matched a few years after our initial enquiry; and because out little boy was effectively a 'lock down baby' - the introductions were done with very gradually and gently. He had only really known his foster family and not been able to explore the Covid world at all. We met him on Facetime and Teams quite a few times before we went to see him in person. There was no big fanfare, or instant moment of eye-locking love; he felt like part of us straight away and we all got to know each other and to love each other day by day. 

More than 4 years later, our son is 6 and is amazing! He loves his life; his family, his village school and his friends. It's always nice to go to adopter events like the Christmas party and see friends who were on the same course as us; there's a special bond between adoptive parents - they 'just know what it's like!'

Adoption doesn't end once the children 'come home' - it’s a lifelong journey of building trust, connection, and support as the child grows and their needs evolve. I am so glad we're on the journey!

• To protect the privacy of the family, all names in this article have been changed and the photograph used is posed by models.